您现在的位置: 主页 > 英语教学 > 高考英语 > > 正文

2008年高考英语(天津卷)作文

作者:admin    文章来源:盐田区外国语学校    更新时间:2017-10-21

08高考||天津卷|作文 假设2008年2月12日是你父亲的生日,下面三幅图描绘的是你给父亲买完礼物后乘坐地铁回家时经历的一件事。请根据图示,用英语写一篇日记记叙这件事,并谈谈自己的感受。
  注意:
  1. 词数不少于100; 2. 可适当加入细节,以使行文连贯。
  参考词汇:
  地铁(列车)—subway train
  
  ① 在回家的地铁上
  ② 下一站
  ③ 约1分钟后
  
  学生习作与点评
  
  学生习作
  Today is my father's birthday, 1so I bought a gift for him. And then I went home by subway. I sat in the seat which 2is the only one left 3and imagine that how happy my father would be when he 4receive the gift.
  5without my conscious, I had already arrived at the next station. At that time an old lady got on the subway with lots of things in her hands, so I 6offer my seat to her. 7She said thanks to me. In the meanwhile, I was praised for what I did.
  8although it took me a long time to get home by standing there, I still 9feel very happy.
  原文修改稿
  Today is my father's birthday. I bought a gift for him and then went home by subway train. I sat in the seat which was the only left in the carriage, and I imagined how happy my father would be when he received the gift.
  When the subway train arrived at the next station, an old lady got onto the train with lots of things in her hands. She just stood in front of me. Watching the old lady, I hesitated. After shopping for two hours, I was really tired and was very pleased to have a seat to rest on the way home. However, a voice from my heart told me, "You are young; you should give your seat to the old lady." So I stood up and offered my seat to the old lady. She thanked me and praised me.
  Although it took me a long time to get home by standing on the subway train, I felt very happy for what I did.
  
  ● 整体点评
  这篇习作基本涵盖了图画的内容,不足之处是对第二幅图的描述过于简单(参见难点分析6)。作者写作时注意到了句式的变化,用到了定语从句(I sat in the seat which is the only one left)、宾语从句(and imagine in that how happy my father would be...)、让步状语从句(Although it took me a long time to get home...)等。但是,作者却对细节重视不够,多处出现时态错误(见难点分析2、3、4、6和9)和大小写错误(见难点分析5和8),说明作者在平时写作时不重视基本功的训练。另外,对于一些词语(组)的应用欠准确(见难点分析5和7)。
  
  ● 难点分析

[1]